Greetings from the pocket of an adventuring rogue, fellow..uh, adventuring rogues!
Today’s post is designed to help you out on those mornings when you have to be somewhere in five minutes (or less..or more..or you’ve gotten confused because of that wibbly wobbly timey wimey spell the wizard cast last night), and you can’t decide on a lipstick. You know, the druid and the wizard are nagging at you to get going, despite having agonized over their robes while you were checking the newly hired horses for traps, and you just need to look awesome and feel comfortable for any occasion…those times? We’ve all been there.
First they hassle you to get on with the whole lipstick thing, and now they have no idea where they’re going. This is what happens when you let the wizard lead, honestly…
In such difficult moments, I highly recommend the following: you know how you often have somewhere close to the door where you keep your extra daggers, hideout keys, Amulet of Not Getting Splashed By Passing Carts, etc? You need a Magical Chest of Inoffensive Pink Lipsticks, too. Like this one:
A Magical Chest of Inoffensive Pink Lipsticks, awaiting your command…
They’re great. You just open it up, tell it what you want (or, you know, just stick your hand in), and if you’ve stocked it correctly you’ll always pull out something appropriate. Here, I’m going to suggest that classic of everyday wear, the pink lipstick (or gloss). If your everyday situation involves reds, you can tailor it to that. Or purples. Whatever floats your little rogueish seagoing craft. :-)
Inside… no, there are no teeth. It’s not a mimic…promise ;-)
A pink lipstick is pretty much always appropriate. It adds bloom to your complexion and makes you look healthier (handy when you’ve been hit by a Hex of Withering or too many deadlines). You can work it with a smoky eye (good for tavern brawls or evenings at the opera) or a simple hint of liner (perfect for low key weekday adventures) and everything in between! It’s natural, pretty, and freshens up any outfit (great if you’ve just been in the Underdark for an extended period – uh, that’s some gelatinous cube you have cliniging to your shoe, by the way). Everyone has their own favourite ‘MLBB’ pink shade, whether it leans pinker, peachier, browner or beiger – if you’re looking for inspiration for a handy Magical Chest of Inoffensive Pink Lipsticks, here are a few of my favourites…
(Links to reviews are at the bottom of the post, along with a call to action!)
Not actually all of the ‘MLBB’ pink lipsticks I own. Yes, I may have a problem. Zip it, you.
The Rogue’s Guide to A Few Great Inoffensive Pink Lipsticks
(click the image to enlarge itty bitty text!)
A Rogue’s Ultimate Pocket Guide to Inoffensive Pink Lipsticks (and how to order them out of your magical chest)
Now, in the interests of being more comprehensive, my fellow adventurers, I want to ask you: what would you put in such a chest (doesn’t have to be pink). While we are on the subject of inoffensive, MLBB, all-purpose pink, what are your favourites? I’m keen to hear from both fellow vampires, and non vampires alike! Help me out here, friends, and maybe I can update this post with some tips from you all to make it truly the ultimate Pocket Guide for adventurers! If you’ve got a review/swatch I can link to, so much the better! :-)
Links to some spiffy reviews of the lipsticks above, plus more!
Clinique Chubby Stick in Chunky Cherry
Clinique Chubby Stick in Pudgy Peony
Revlon Super Lustrous Lipgloss in Snow Pink
Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Peach Parfait
Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Pink Sizzle
Revlon Lacquer Balm in Demure (also a great nude for pale rogues!)
Laura Mercier Creme Smooth Lip Colour in Antique Pink, Lip Glace in Blush and Lip Pencil in Plumberry (so much goodness)
Bloom Sheer Lipstick in Tangerine (my first even blog post *sniffle*)
Guerlain Rouge Automatique in Rose Lip (ugh, perfection)
Burts Bees Lipgloss in Rosy Dawn
Marc Jacobs Lovemarc Lip Gel in Have We Met?
Chanel Rouge Coco in Charme (my wedding lipstick!)
Until next time, fellow adventurers, don’t forget to check for traps!
I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided! All images and text on this blog are the property of The Painted Rogue unless otherwise stated. If you nick off with any of it, be prepared to find that your morning hot beverage tastes a little…different than usual. Didn’t the rogue say something the other day about that new poison that makes your inner ear itch maddeningly for the rest of your life? I think she did…