A Rogue’s Rations…in Miniature! Or, Feeding Arnan the Barbarian…

Greetings from the local purveyor of bread and cured meats, fellow adventurers!

Those of you who saw my recent Beauty Spotlight Team Post are probably expecting my Guide to Red Lipsticks! Never fear, it shall eventuate today as promised, but I’m a rogue, and we’re tricksy. In the spirit of tricksiness (also known as having ‘chaotic’ as part of your alignment),  I have decided to toss up an extra little post, showing you some of the miniature/dungeon related stuff I’ve been working on recently.  Call it Hallowe’en inspired? No? Well, there is food involved, so it’s close. In any case, allow me to present a rogue’s first foray into miniature food!
Miniature polymer clay bread and salami

Bread for a dollhouse…bread for a dungeon! (Don’t confuse the two). Pardon the photo quality – I took these on a mobile device. I have super macro shots, but they’re not accessible at the moment (long story).

The goodies that Arnan The Barbarian is eyeing up here are made from polymer clay (specifically, Fimo) and are shockingly, excitingly easy to make. For the approximately 1:12 scale bread and salami platter (that’s dollhouse sized) I followed the bread tutorial on YouTube, property of the talented and impossibly sweet SugarCharmShop. She has tutorials for ALL THE FOOD THINGS, plus another craft channel and a nail art channel. Go. Check it out. Marvel and wonder etc. 😀 For the salami, I made it up myself as I went along, and everything is shaded and coloured with chalk pastels (beyond the original clay colour). Once I’d made the dollhouse bread (also perfect for charms or fridge magnets), I wondered if I could make 28mm scale stuff for dungeon terrain…
Miniature polymer clay bread and salami

Arnan the Barbarien, trying to decide which size bread is more appropriate for his post-skull bashing appetite. For reference, Arnan is about 30mm/1.2 inches tall.

 

Turns out you can! I just miniaturised everything further, using Arnan (who, being a barbarian, is about 30mm tall – a little over an inch) as a guide for size. Nothing is glued down yet, and I’m planning to add cheeses and pickles for a Dungeon Deli (my deli franchise someday?) setup 😉 If you guys are interested, I’ll keep you updated! (I’m also quite keen to try my hand at some miniature cosmetics, just sayin’… 😉 )

 

Orcs

Chatting at the office water cooler, Ogg and Grogg suddenly heard ‘food’ and ‘updates’.

 

What do you think, fellow adventurers? Do they have a Dungeon Deli in your questing region? What’s your favourite mid-adventure or tavern bar snack?

Until next time, fellow adventurers, don’t forget to check for traps!

Syl

I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided! All images and text on this blog are the property of The Painted Rogue unless otherwise stated. If you nick off with any of it, be prepared to find that your morning hot beverage tastes a little…different than usual. Didn’t the rogue say something the other day about that new poison that makes your inner ear itch maddeningly for the rest of your life? I think she did…

A Rogue’s Adventuring Essentials: Food, Nails and…Ballet Gear?

Greetings from the depths of a thicket of deadlines, fellow rogues!

As you may have seen in my recent Beauty Spotlight Team post, I’ve been questing my way through some particularly sticky and unpleasant deadline territory at the moment! As a result, I haven’t had as much time as I’d like (or the light, for that matter) to get swatchy and look-y posts together for you as quickly as I want to! They’re in the works, but a rogue never leaves her fellow adventurers in the lurch! While I finish beating my way through this thicket, I hope you’ll accept some pretty food, beauty and ballet related pictures! 😉

I know it’s been a pressing concern for many of you: just what *does* a rogue’s every day life look like? What does she eat? How does she do her nails? for the love of the Gods, what is the pattern on her ballet gear!?!1?! 😀 Fear not that ye shall never know, for now is your chance to find out!

PIE!

What’s in the pies?! Any guesses? They are the happiest pies in the world, you know. Also, adorable individual pie dishes are adorable.

Rhubarb and Pear Compote with Homemade Yoghurt

Homemade rhubarb and pear compote with homemade yoghurt. #smugroguechef

Seed Bread

Homemade seed bread! All it needs is a toaster, and some butter and vegemite 😉

Rhubarb, Pear and Ginger Crumble

Homemade rhubarb, pear and ginger crumble (also known as the food of the Gods – crumbles, that is).

Butter London Come to Bed Red and OPI Rose of Light manicure

Butter London Come to Bed Red and OPI Rose of Light manicure, with totally artistically intentional blurry curtain edge. #cuddlysweater

OPI Do You Have This Colour in Stock-holm? Nail polish swatch

OPI Do You Have This Colour in Stock-holm? and OPI dot com manicure. In the rain, as it happened. Winter is responsible for the dryness, and no, I hadn’t cleaned the edges yet 😉 #lazyrogue

Nailstation Paris Nail Polish First Dance Swatch

Nailstation Paris Nail Polish First Dance and OPI dot com manicure. Also in the rain! Pardon the cuticles etc – Winter hates my skin!

Ballet Lookbook?

Another of my ballet ensembles! 😀 I know how endlessly fascinating these are 😉 Yes, I need new tights. #paisleypants

 

Right! I hope you enjoyed the pictures, but since this was a bit of a cop-out post on my part, let’s spice it up with some questions! Feel free to answer as many or as few as you like in the comments! I love hearing your responses ^_^.

  1. What’s in the pies?
  2. How many pies can a paladin consume in one sitting if left unattended?
  3. How awesome is purple nail polish?
  4. Any recipes you’d like?
  5. #teamcrumble or #teampie? (I think it’s #teamcrisp in the US?)
  6. What would you wear to an adventurers’ ballet class? (anything goes!).

 

Until next time, fellow adventurers, don’t forget to check for traps!

Syl

I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided! All images and text on this blog are the property of The Painted Rogue unless otherwise stated. If you nick off with any of it, watch out for the pixies that come in the night and snap your eyelids against your eyeballs while droning nursery rhymes at you.

A Rogue’s Rations: Schupfnudeln! (German Potato Dumplings/Gnocchi)

Greetings from the campfire, fellow rogues!

While adventuring, it’s important to keep up strength and morale. Despite what he may try to tell you, listening to the paladin eulogise about himself is not the best way to do this. A far better solution is good food at the campfire when you rest! In my last post, I was casting about for a picture to include, and decided to use one of the previous night’s dinner – Schupfnudeln. I don’t usually photograph my food (shut up, anyone who kept an eye on my Twitter feed while I was in Sharjah!!), but this occasion demanded it! Anyway, a couple of people asked for the recipe, so I thought I’d share it. I’m afraid on this occasion I only have the one photo, and no prep photos!

 

Schupfnudeln

Hausgemachte Shupfnudeln! Homemade Schupfnudeln – kind of like German gnocchi that you fry. Broccoli is there for ‘token healthy thing’. A perfect winter food (they stick to your ribs a bit, but tastily).

 

The base recipe is taken from Thaddäus Troll’s ‘Kochen wie die Schwaben – Original Schwäbische Hausrezepte’ (Wilhelm Heyne Verlag, München, 1977; this one is the 2 Verlag, 1988). This translates more or less to ‘Cook like the Swabians – Original Swabian Home Cooking Recipes’, and is packed full of traditional Swabian things to eat, from soup to dessert. It’s telling that there is an entire chapter devoted to ‘Kartoffelgerichte (Potato Dishes)’.

The Wizard, although not from Swabia (he hails from a little further North), grew up with many of the dishes in this book as childhood favourites, such as Schupfnudeln and Maultaschen. I personally have a deep and profound fondness for yet another rib-sticking Swabian staple, Spätzle, particularly the cheese-drenched variety. If you all like this stuff, we’re planning on working our way through this hilariously straightfaced, anecdotal cookbook, so I can post more recipes. Do let me know if you’d like to see more Rogue’s Rations!

Anyway, the basic recipe:

(I’ll enter it in the original German, and then in my English translation)

750g gekochte Kartoffeln (750 g cooked potatoes – skins removed)

600g Mehl (600g flour – white wheat flour is the only variety we’ve tried)

1 Ei (1 Egg – size unspecified, but if you have a large one you can beat up and use according to your judgement, this works)

Salz (salt – to taste)

Serves: lots. OK, so these are pretty hefty. I’d say the full recipe would serve a good 6 people (as a main), or more as a side (or one hearty Swabian family from 1977, perhaps). Recipe credit in the book is to one Beate Bundschu from Stuttgart. You don’t even have to finish them all at once – the boiled ones keep in the fridge just fine for a few days (three or four in our case – they could have gone longer I guess). The recipe is awkward to divide because of the one egg, but if you use a small egg you should be OK to 3/4 or 1/2 the recipe.

Method:

Die Kartoffeln werden mit einer Gabel zerdrückt und zusammen mit Mehl, Ei und Salz verknetet.

Mash the potates and knead them together with the flour, egg and salt – we used a cake mixer with the dough hook to do this, but obviously you can do it by hand to build up your Popeye/Fighter biceps as well.

Aus diesem Teig wellt man auf einem bemehlten Holzbrett bleistiftdicke Nudeln, die man stückchenweise durch Abschneiden, ‘Schupfen’, trennt und in kochendes Wasser gibt.

On a floured surface (here a wooden board, but we used a plastic chopping board), roll the dough out into pencil-thick noodles. Cut these into basically any size morsel you want,  and drop them into a pot of boiling water. We actually just tore off blobs from the (somewhat clingy) dough ball and hand rolled them into large maggoty shapes (sorry, they really do look like that) – you can see the size in the photo compared to the fork. It works either way.

Schwimmen die Schupfnudeln auf, werden sie mit einem Schaumlöffel herausgenommen und zum Trocknen auf einem Holzbrett ausgebreitet. Danach werden sie geschmälzt und serviert.

When the Schpfnudeln rise to the surface, lift them out of the water and lay them out to dry on a wooden board (we just put them onto a clean dinner plate. They don’t stick much). Finally, they are fried in lard (this is traditional – we fried them in salted butter instead) and served.

As for toppings: it’s really up to you. Whatever you would put on gnocchi, you can put on these. We sauteed onions, garlic and little bits of lean salami on one occasion, adding zucchini and eggplant to the pan on another occasion. We served them with steamed broccoli and cream cheese/sour cream. The Wizard used to eat them with tomato sauce (pasta sauce). They’re fried potato dumplings. Antyhing that tastes good with potato and can be easily carried into a dungeon or lost catacomb will be fine 😉

Anyway, as you can see, it’s a really simple recipe. It’s pretty foolproof, really, as all good basic recipes should be. Something that can be easily carried in your pack and fried up over the campfire to restore everyone’s HP and morale (if make them a bit slower – perhaps best eaten before a *long* rest).

What do you think? Would you try making some Schupfnudeln? Would you like to see more ration posts? 🙂

 

Until next time, don’t forget to check your ration levels!

Syl

As usual, the photos are all the property of Sylirael the Rogue, while here the recipe is taken and lightly adapted from the book referenced in the post (Troll, T. Kochen wie die Schwaben, Wilhelm Heyne Verlag, copyright 1977 – this edition the second one, 1988 – p. 111. Original Schupfnudeln recpie credit to one Beate Bundschu of Stuttgart). Any theft of the original images and content on this blog will be viewed dimly by the legal trolls, who will come and drape their dirty underpants over your head. For starters. *pointed look*.