A Rogue Can Dream, Right? – January Wishlist

Greetings from the depths of the darkest dungeon, fellow rogues!

Today we’ll be taking a look at some of the things that I wish were in the bottom of the dungeons our party usually gets sent down.  Generally speaking, we find a lot of giant spiders and gelatinous cubes, which are much less desirable and hell to get out of your boots afterwards (don’t even get me started on hair).

Yes, it’s this rogue’s wishlist for January 2014 – things that I’ve been eyeing wistfully this month (and probably for longer in some cases!). I’ve broken it into three categories: Skincare, Beauty and Rogueish Geekery. All the photos were taken from the manufacturers/creators/distributors websites, which are linked if you click on the title of the paragraph about a given item. Just to be clear, none of these links are affiliate!

Let’s get stuck in (like a dagger into a drider) shall we?

I. Skincare

A rogue’s face and feet (actually, any adventurer’s, really) take a beating – these are some things I’ve been eyeing up to combat the issue! (Also orcs, but the manufacturers don’t mention the products’ efficacy on that front…)

 

1. Freeman Bare Foot Foot Lotion in Dragonfruit

I’ve had quite good luck with Freeman products in general (see posts here and here), but I can’t quite overstate how exciting it is to see a dedicated foot lotion that DOES NOT CONTAIN PEPPERMINT. Seriously! It’s incredible. Hopefully, I’ll get the chance to try it out soon, and I’ve nearly finished some of my other, similar products.

2. Hurraw Lip Balms, specifically in Chai Spice and Earl Grey

I’ve heard a lot of good things about these lip balms, and being a lip balm hoarder (how can you not be when you spend what seems like half your life in cold, rooftop air?), I feel it my duty to investigate. I’m particularly attracted by the two flavours listed above, but they have a wide range of tasty sounding offerings!

3. Dermalogica Medibac Special Clearing Booster Magical Potion Thing

It’s a zit zapper. Supposedly a very effective one (hopfully strong enough for post-curse situations – get the wizard to check that jewellery, kids!). It’s on my wishlist because it’s >$100 a bottle here in Middle Earth, and my skin isn’t so cruel to me that I feel like I *need* it. But sometimes…let’s just say it’d be damn helpful (if it works)!

4. Michael Todd True Organics Honey and Oat Cleanser

I get quite dry skin on my cheeks, and this is supposed to be good for dry skin! I already have (and love) the Tropical Fruit Exfoliant Scrub from this line (review coming soon!), and I’d love to try more of his stuff! I really, really wish just *one* loot chest or dragon hoard would have a set of Michael Todd products. Just one. But they never do – it’s always gold and jewels, pffft.

And now! On to the makeup shinies…

II. Makeup

 

SHINY! So many coloured potions for the face, so little time.

 

5. Clinique Cheek Pop Blushes

In case you’ve missed it, these blushes are supposed to be AWESOME. I’ve been drooling over Christine’s swatches and reviews over at Temptalia, and I think I’d like them all. Unhelpfully, Clinique’s website only gives the picture for one of the colours, but there are four in total – you can see them in Christine’s wonderful pictures. Somewhere, I suspect there is an overgrown temple where these blushes sit like jewels in the eyes of a colossal statue. Sadly, no-one has posted a quest for it yet.

6. Chanel Illusion d’Ombre in Mirifique

This is, as most of you may be aware, not a new product at all. However, I am a longtime fan of these eyeshadows (particularly Fantasme, which can be used for basically *everything*), and I feel like the sparkly black one is missing in my life. How can I create the perfect glittering smoky roguelike eye looks without it? The sages are still debating just such a question. The sages have also unfortunately not provided any information on how to afford it, either ;-).

7. YSL Gloss Volupte

To be clear, although this is an awesome-looking black gloss (it’s the gloss volupte in ‘Smoking’), and I would love to own a black gloss (if it were opaque!), the colour from this range I’m really interested in is Grenade Pepite. There is a swatch/bottle photo on the same website linked in the title, but the colour is, in my opinion, rubbish. It looks nothing like the magnificence of the actual gloss. How do I know what it looks like? Why here, of course! Feast your eyes on the magnificence, people. Want.

8.  Revlon Colourburst Matte Balms

These. Are. Almost. Here. In. Middle. Earth. Seriously, the display is in Farmers, but they haven’t filled it yet *facepalm*. Once again, the Revlon website only actually has a picture of one of the colours (in full packaging form), but anyone who knows this rogue can probably guess which one I actually really want, and that’s the one called ‘Shameless’…which I think is the perfect name for a bright purple matte lip pencil!

Phew! Two down, one to go…

III. Rogueish Geekery

 

So many wonderful things to drool over…

 

9. Dark Sword Miniatures’ ‘Female Bard With Lute’

This is a gorgeous 28mm scale female bard from Dark Sword Miniatures, who (in my opinion) make some of the very best fantasy RPG miniatures out there. What you can see in the picture is the original model, from which the actual minis you buy are cast – those minatures are in pewter metal. This bard is a sculpt by Jeff Grace, and if you click on the link in the title you can see a couple of different painted versions as well. I’ve been wanting this bard mini for ages, but haven’t been able to justify it because she’s in a resting pose, which makes her better for display than gaming. Love this mini, though!

10. The Last of Us (Naughty Dog)

I’m fairly certain that every person with a Playstation and a pulse has already tried this game, and it comes very highly recommended! I’ve wanted it since months before it came out, but I have such a backlog of unfinished games that I haven’t been quite able to justify getting it yet! I’ve just been running around the internet, trying not to get spoiled 😛 Naughty Dog are the developers behind one of my all-time favourite PS3 games (Uncharted 2), and I can’t wait to see how this one goes!

11. Descent: Journeys in the Dark 2nd Ed. Expansions

Fantasy Flight make wonderful boardgames. Descent is one of them. There are expansions. I wouldn’t mind all of them! Not much else to say really, except to point out that, as a rogue, I feel that these games are less ‘playthings’ than they are serious adventuring training. They’ve got it all – monsters, dungeons, adventurers, loot, and the quests are actually non-trivial to complete! Plus there are minis – what’s not to love?

12. Hirst Arts Molds #57, #58 and #59

I’m fairly certain Bruce Hirst is actually a wizard. Not only does he make the most amazing, detailed, gorgeous molds for miniature (fantasy) architecture so that you can create, paint and build your own from scratch, but his website is crammed full of detailed instructions (with photos) for how to cast, paint, build, decorate and generally make the most out of the molds you buy. The image in the picture is the one from the link I’ve put in the title. It’s an inn he created from the casts of molds 57-59, which are some of the moulds I’m considering acquiring. We have a couple of Hirst Arts molds already, and they’re amazing. If you’re at all interested in miniature modelling, fantasy or historical style, you need to check his stuff out, pronto. This is my serious rogue face, people!

 

So! There we go! Those are my ‘why are these never in the loot?’ items for January. Have you tried any of these things? What are your thoughts?

Until next time, fellow adventurers, don’t forget to check for traps!

Syl

I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided!

Getting to the Pointe of Keeping on Your Toes – Bloch Aspiration Pointe Shoe

Greetings, my fellow rogues and bards,

If you will excuse the trail of terrible puns in the title, I’d like to introduce you today to a particularly fine potential tool for the dancing rogue or bard. I am referring, obviously, to the Bloch ‘Aspiration’ pointe shoe. They were the first model of pointe shoe I ever used, and I have only good things to say about them. The photograph below is an ancient one that I took with a terrible phone camera, but it’s the only personal image I have of the shoes in an unused state.

Brand new! A terrible phone photograph from many years ago…of some nevertheless very shiny Bloch Aspirations.

Note how beautifully shiny the satin is. Note how fancifully I have arranged the ribbons and tied the strings in little bows. Note how I carefully took the photo before I stitched in the big, ugly but nicely supportive elastics.

Below is another pair of Aspirations, in their ‘used’ state. As you can see, superficially, they still look alright. I am one obsessive compulsive rogue when it comes to keeping my shoes looking nice – the last thing you want when dancing up a bolstering enchantment or boureeing past an awestruck guard is for the spell to break when they notice your hideous, mangled shoes.

Not as mangled as you expect them to be? Why, thank you!

However, you will notice that the ribbons are now a sort of sick, beige colour, the inner lining is a nice sweaty grey and the satin is grungy around the edge of the box. You will probably also have noted the fact that I have written ‘L’ and ‘R’ into my shoes. I can assure you that I do in fact have INT > 10 – this is because I sew my ribbons and elastics, and make any other alterations, while my foot is in the shoe, so the fit is customised. Writing the letters in saves time (and pain) later. Stop snickering!

*Ahem* The tips of the shoes have also fallen victim to many, many tendus:

Pictured: your pointes on too many tendus. Not pictured: Syl making any effort to darn or suede her shoes.

Although there is a lot of satin that has remained basically prisitne…almost mysteriously so….

Even I am surprised how good some of the satin looks, and I was the one being careful with them.

Part of this, of course, is the way I used them, and the way they broke for me. I never broke in my shoes by hand – it was by foot! By sheer force of arch (hence all the additional tendus), if you will. At the time, I would have liked to have given them to Grog the Orc and had him pre-mangle them a bit so they were easier to use, but in hindisght I think my foot strength benefited much from the extra work. The shank is, I believe, the hardest one you can commonly get for this model of shoe, and by Corellon, did I know about it while I was breaking them in.

Again, not as grungy as it could be. You’re probably asking yourself why I would keep a manky pair of pointe shoes…good question…

My size is 4E (yes, I have wide feet – all the better to balance on planks laid over trapped dungeon pits with, my dear!), and as you’ve probably seen from previous photos, I use two elastics, criss-crossed over the instep for a bit of extra support. I can’t really show you the way my shoes finally wore out, because it’s deep in the box, just under the ball of my foot. I found I could no longer stay comfortably stable in releve, and when I worked the shoe gently next to my ear, a horrbile crunching could be heard from inside the box. It really was the most terrible grating, crumbling sound, not unlike the noise you get as skeletal archers are dragging themselves from the earth to skewer you with a thousand moldy arrows.

Anyway, how long did they last? Originally, I’d say about a year of on-and-off use. Now, I’d expect significantly less! I’m using a different shoe these days, which I will tell you about later. In the meantime, here is what they look like on the foot of an actual rogue:

The purplish colour of those tights? That’s the colour you get when you’re too lazy, er, I mean, busy raiding a dragon’s hoard, to wash your pink tights separately from the rest of your predominantly dark wardobe.

Not pictured in the photo above is the amazing position I had to get into to hold the lamp and camera at the level of my foot, which I was trying to put some weight on despite the fact that the shoe is horribly broken in the functional sense. There’s even a little rusty nail sticking through the sole somewhere. Good times.

As a final note, I would like to disclose that I wear the adorably named ‘ouch pouches‘, to try and preserve my toes. My current shoes can be worn without them, but the inside of these Bloch Aspirations was designed with ‘suffering for your art’ in mind. It will take all the skin off your feet if you don’t have some sort of padding (lambswool/foam/enchantment) in there.  With ouch pouches, I suffer only the occasional bit of damage to the inner corner of my left big toenail, and yes, I can still ‘feel the floor’. Anyone who tells you that you need to bleed to be a good dancer is not your friend. That said, it may still happen, pointe shoes being what they are!

The verdict: An excellent shoe, especially for rogues new to the art of dancing on their toes. Just one tip – pad your toes a little to truly customise the fit and make them comfortable for you, and don’t listen to anyone who tells you you have to suffer.

The practicalities: Bloch Aspiration pointe shoes cost NZD ~140.00/USD 62.00/GBP 39.95 per pair , and may be acquired at your local dance store (depending which brands they stock), or online at http://www.blochworld.com/ (or your country’s variant of this URL).

Until next time, fellow adventurers, don’t forget to check for traps (especially on the floor, if you’re dancing)!

Syl

I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided!