An Ode to Pink: Chanel Rose Insolent, OPI Pink Yet Lavender and Iambic Pentameter

Greetings, my fellow rogues!

This post was inspired by Susie the Rockbard, both in the sense that it is about things that are pink, but also in the sense that it will strive to be as poetic as she is. Today’s Zero to Hero task was to post in a style that we’re not used to, such as a photo scrapbook or a short inspirational quote. Since I had already planned to post this particular review, which requires both photos and a certain amount of text, I thought I would spice it up a little bit by doing the whole thing in iambic pentameter.

Iambic pentameter is a literary/poetic technique in which the lines of the text are written to give a series of five ‘iambs’. In English, an iamb consists of a pair of syllables, with the emphasis on the second one. In the original ancient Greek/Latin tradition, an iamb is a set of two syllables where the first one is short and the second one is long, because that’s how they did it back in the day. If you’d like some examples, Wikipedia and xkcd have your back. (I should note for the purposes of this text: ‘OPI’ needs to be read as the individual letters, not ‘Opee’!)

I make no guarantees that I will succeed in this endeavour without fault, but I hope what follows gives you a chuckle at least (and let you know about a couple of polishes!). Iambic pentameter does not have to rhyme, but I  think I may have gotten a bit sonnet-y at times, and not at others, because…poetry. Enjoy! :-P

An Ode to Pink (by Sylirael)

Polish bottles

At left we have Chanel in Rose that is
Most Insolent and then at right we see,
A shade of OPI that glitters bright;
a ‘Pink Yet Lavender’ it seems to be…

Chanel Rose Insolent is creme and pink

A bright and vibrant shade to cheer the mood

and lift the spirits when the orcs attack.

Its application is quite smooth and clean

Though shaking is a necessary feat

As pigment settles quite deceptively

Three coats are best for colour most opaque

But two will work if glitter tops the nail.

The finish is a mostly shiny one,

though I prefer a ‘lacquer’ look, which makes

A Sally Hansen topcoat best for me.

A rogue who rests her hand on flasks of wine,
whose thumb appears most odd in corners right,
has painted nails in shades of brightest pink.
Yet when upon the pink the glitter rests,
it actu’lly looks more like silver, see?

Now Pink Yet Lavender from OPI:

A shade Mariah Carey ‘made’ you know!

See holographic tiny glitters mixed,

with hexes in a pale pink-purple shade.

The application is most irksome, on

occasion needing pushing ’round the nail,

to get the glitter cov’rage where you want.

However I will say that it is cute

and makes an end-effect that’s worth the quest

In artificial light they look like this, The pink takes on a much more orange hue The glitter seems to better match its name As now you see the 'lavender' there too.

In artificial light they look like this:
the pink takes on a much more coral hue.
The glitter seems to better match its name,
as now you see the ‘lavender’ there too.

The wear time for Chanel is very long,

on me, that is, which only means two days -

maximum, I mean it, seriously!

The glitter in the OPI is more

long wearing by sheer virtue of the fact;

it’s glitter top coat here I mean, come on!

But by itself it prob’ly lasts twelve hours…

(Remember though that I am freakish here,

and twelve is ‘normal’ in my polish hours!)

Yes, rogues have cuddly sweaters too you know,
they keep the dungeon chill at bay quite well.
The glitter statement nail is one of my
fav’rite ways to cheer a troll-filled hell

The Verdict here is one of mixed design:

Chanel’s Rose Insolent, it stole my heart

with vibrant, cheery pink that fends off gloom.

Pink Yet Lavender is more ‘okay’,

but little work rewards with glitt’ring light.

Practically: these polishes aren’t rare

Chanel is found at counters, stores and at

chanel dot com across the world, it seems.

A bottle, thirteen ml, costs forty eight

In Middle Earth that is, in ‘Merica

the cost is twenty seven for the same.

The OPI is even more widespread,

and may be found in Farmers, drugstores too.

A bottle, fifteen ml, costs twenty six

in Middle Earth again, where costs are high.

Americans will find them for a snap!

Just eight, the dollars needed in that land.

Until next time, my rogues, you must take care,

to check for traps in every dungeon lair.

Syl

I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided!

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13 thoughts on “An Ode to Pink: Chanel Rose Insolent, OPI Pink Yet Lavender and Iambic Pentameter

    • Heh, the polish or the pentameter? ;-) interesting fact: the polish has all fallen off my nails now except for the two glitter accent ones – so I’m rocking a look with eight naked nails and two hot pink glittery ones!

      Like

  1. Pingback: Would you Rather…? Tag! | The Painted Rogue

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