Greetings, my fellow rogues!
This post was inspired by Susie the Rockbard, both in the sense that it is about things that are pink, but also in the sense that it will strive to be as poetic as she is. Today’s Zero to Hero task was to post in a style that we’re not used to, such as a photo scrapbook or a short inspirational quote. Since I had already planned to post this particular review, which requires both photos and a certain amount of text, I thought I would spice it up a little bit by doing the whole thing in iambic pentameter.
Iambic pentameter is a literary/poetic technique in which the lines of the text are written to give a series of five ‘iambs’. In English, an iamb consists of a pair of syllables, with the emphasis on the second one. In the original ancient Greek/Latin tradition, an iamb is a set of two syllables where the first one is short and the second one is long, because that’s how they did it back in the day. If you’d like some examples, Wikipedia and xkcd have your back. (I should note for the purposes of this text: ‘OPI’ needs to be read as the individual letters, not ‘Opee’!)
I make no guarantees that I will succeed in this endeavour without fault, but I hope what follows gives you a chuckle at least (and let you know about a couple of polishes!). Iambic pentameter does not have to rhyme, but I think I may have gotten a bit sonnet-y at times, and not at others, because…poetry. Enjoy!
An Ode to Pink (by Sylirael)
Chanel Rose Insolent is creme and pink
A bright and vibrant shade to cheer the mood
and lift the spirits when the orcs attack.
Its application is quite smooth and clean
Though shaking is a necessary feat
As pigment settles quite deceptively
Three coats are best for colour most opaque
But two will work if glitter tops the nail.
The finish is a mostly shiny one,
though I prefer a ‘lacquer’ look, which makes
A Sally Hansen topcoat best for me.
Now Pink Yet Lavender from OPI:
A shade Mariah Carey ‘made’ you know!
See holographic tiny glitters mixed,
with hexes in a pale pink-purple shade.
The application is most irksome, on
occasion needing pushing ’round the nail,
to get the glitter cov’rage where you want.
However I will say that it is cute
and makes an end-effect that’s worth the quest
The wear time for Chanel is very long,
on me, that is, which only means two days -
maximum, I mean it, seriously!
The glitter in the OPI is more
long wearing by sheer virtue of the fact;
it’s glitter top coat here I mean, come on!
But by itself it prob’ly lasts twelve hours…
(Remember though that I am freakish here,
and twelve is ‘normal’ in my polish hours!)
The Verdict here is one of mixed design:
Chanel’s Rose Insolent, it stole my heart
with vibrant, cheery pink that fends off gloom.
Pink Yet Lavender is more ‘okay’,
but little work rewards with glitt’ring light.
Practically: these polishes aren’t rare
Chanel is found at counters, stores and at
chanel dot com across the world, it seems.
A bottle, thirteen ml, costs forty eight
In Middle Earth that is, in ‘Merica
the cost is twenty seven for the same.
The OPI is even more widespread,
and may be found in Farmers, drugstores too.
A bottle, fifteen ml, costs twenty six
in Middle Earth again, where costs are high.
Americans will find them for a snap!
Just eight, the dollars needed in that land.
Until next time, my rogues, you must take care,
to check for traps in every dungeon lair.
I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided!