Greetings, fellow rogues!
As some of you may be aware, I am participating in WordPress’s Zero to Hero program for January. Today’s challenge was to take the Daily Prompt for today and ‘make it your own’. The prompt was as follows:
‘Do you have a reputation? What is it, and where did it come from? Is it accurate? What do you think about it?’
Since I think you can all take a stab (haha!) at what a rogue’s reputation is like without me blathering on about myself, I thought I would take this opportunity to bring you another of my little quiz diversions. This time, you’ll get the chance to discover which dungeon-dwelling monster you most resemble, based on how you come across to others!
(Note, this is intended as a bit of fun only, I’m sure we’re all lovely people, not monstrous at all! …Right?) Feel free to cheat egregiously on this quiz, and let me know what you got in the comments down below!
Quiz! Consider Your Reputation…Which Dungeon-Dweller are You?
1. What are people’s first impressions of you?
A) Paralysing horror, apparently. Probably terror too. Their minds are so weak…but still juicy…
B) ‘Ew’. flobble
C) Usually their last ones. Probably involving blood and fire. Also spiders.
D) Skinny, has a large group of friends. Well, newly summoned undead, technically.
E) They think I’m just one ugly brute in a mindless horde! I’ll show them!
F) What’s an impression? People are funny, hahaha! Who? I like meeting people. Is it time for meat yet?
2. What sort of people end up hanging out with you?
A) The sort of mindless drones who can’t think for themselves, usually. Sycophants have their advantages, though.
B) Anyone who stands still long enough, really. They only really ‘hang’ until I can digest them, though. blurp
C) None are worthy to ‘hang out’ with me. Anyone who gets close and extends the hand of friendship will have it severed.
D) Anyone from the nearby ground, really. Tend to be quiet types with poor personal hygiene.
E) Um, other people exactly like me, really. I suppose you coud say it was a bit of a horde situation…but we’re not mindless!
F) Lots of them. I have friends! Meat is tasty. I know, right? Wait, what?
3. How would your best friend describe you in three words?
A) What is this ‘friend’ concept you speak of?
B) [*three wet sucking sounds*]
C) Fierce. Devious. Deadly.
D) Wise. Slender. Powerful.
E) Honourable. Handsome. Brave.
F) Funny! Hahahahah! Fight?
4. What’s the last thing you overheard someone say about you?
A) If I recall correctly, it went some thing along the lines of ‘Arrrgh!’ I assume they meant me, because they were waving their arms in my general direction at the time.
B) ‘For the love of Corellon, get me out of this thing!’ jiggle
C) I’m not sure. It was obscured with the gargling noise when I opened their carotid artery.
D) ‘Wait a minute – that bookshelf he’s standing next to looks really heavy!’ Adventurers will have their little joke…can anyone help me up?
E) ‘Oh for goodness sake, not more of these guys!’ So rude.
F) ‘There’s more of the little ones’ Who, me? I’m not little. You’re too big. I have kinves. Want to see?
5. Do you ever worry about what people think of you?
A) People can think what they like – a mind with lots of thoughts is better-exercised and more flavourful than one without.
B) So long as they don’t give me indigestion, they can think what they like. schlorpp
C) Hah! Weak minded fools. All they need to think about is how their pitiful lives will end at my hands!!!
D) It does bother me a little when people are always harping on about how skinny I am. I can’t help it – I consume at least 10 souls a day, people!
E) I try not to, but people make so many assumptions and stereotypes based on appearance! It’s infuriating! I need to crush something….
F) Hahahaah! People say I laugh too much! They’re funny too. What’s worrying? Thinking is hard. Time for stabby stab!
6. How would your worst enemy describe you – in three words?
A) Horrifying. Terrifying. Cephalopodal?
B) Far. Too. Sticky. schlupp
C) Anger. Management. Issues.
D) Needs. More. Flesh.
E) Hah! Probably: Ugly. Stupid. Smelly.
F) I love enemies! Hahahaha! They say ‘stupid. little. dungeon. vermin.’ How many words was that? Naptime!
7. Do you feel like your reputation gets in the way of moving forward in life?
A) Despite my reputation, people still come wandering across my path, offering up their juicy brains. So…no, not really.
B) Not as badly as gravel. That stuff gets stuck to me something fierce, creates drag, and it doesn’t even taste good! flopple
C) My reputation for muderous glory brings me nothing but acclaim amongst those whose opinion matters!
D) Haha, ‘life’. That’s a good one!
E) Does it ever! And it’s so unfair, because it’s not true at all!
F) What’s a reputation? Can I have one? Who are you? It’s time for meat. Hahahaha!
8. You get into an argument with someone. How does it end?
B) The arguments never start – it’s hard for them to speak once I’ve incorporated them into my bulk. tschlopp
C) With me stepping over their corpse. I don’t have time to argue – there’s pillaging to do.
D) I try to stay above it all, unless someone comments on my weight. Then the gloves are off, people!
E) With me adding to my trophy neckalce of ears and noses. Serves them right for underestimating me!
F) I love arguments! You’re wrong! Hahahahah! No, I’m wrong! Wait… never mind! Where are you going?
Mostly A: You’re a Mindflayer!
So, you’re a terrifying interdimensional being with an octopus for a face and a reputation for being…’brainy’. Or rather, fond of brains. Eating them, to be precise. Still, you never want for company, between the drow that are constantly trying to murder you or the thralls that you create from your helpless victims. You also look great in long black robes and constitute probably the only market for which purple tinted primer is actually a foundation. Yeah, life is pretty good, actually.
Mostly B: You’re a Gelatinous Cube!
*schlorp* You are what you eat, right? Guess that means your reputation must change on an adventurer-by-adventurer basis…but everyone insists on labelling you. Gelatinous. Cuboid. Sticky. Gross. Hard to get off a pair of boots. Well, technically those are all pretty accurate…fair call then. Now if only this rogue would hold still while you finished consuming them… *flobble*
Mostly C: You’re a Drow!
Humans are awful – always poinitng fingers, running, screaming, whining to everyone about how terrible and horrible you are, all because I might have maybe burned down a few of their villages and slaughtered all the inhabitants. Seriously! Some people are too sensitive. None of them would last five minutes in the Underdark – those wretched mindflayers would probably get to them first before we could round them up and sacrifice them to Lolth. Hah! and they call us ‘dark elves’ – elves are the worst, all smug and superior and eco friendly. Claiming we drow are all full of violence and hatred – by Lolth, I hate those guys! All of them! Arrgh! I need to kill something…
Mostly D: You’re a Skeletal Necromancer!
Honestly, you’re getting a bit sick of the skinny-shaming. Why can’t people stop obsessing over your weight long enough to recognise your awesome arcane powers? Now that reputation for being terrifying, that’s something you can get behind. You can raise an army of the undead at the snap of your fingers – sure, that means your annual budget for home deodorisers gets a bit steep, but it’s worth it when you see those adventurers flee in terror before your rotting army! Now if you could just get out from under this bookshelf filled with tomes of necromantic horror…you really should have secured it to the wall…
Mostly E: You’re an Orc!
Everyone thinks they know what an orc ‘is’, but you’re the real deal. Never mind all those people shoving negative stereotypes on you, you know you’re the best, bravest and handsomest there is – why, just the other day you added nine more trophies to your necklace of ears and noses! Don’t let the raggedy wolfskin loincloth and random bits of rusty armor tied to your bulk define your reputation – just crush anyone who looks askance at you!
Mostly F: You’re a Goblin!
Some people say you laugh too much. Hah! Laughing over their corpse maybe! Haha! Meat is great. Daggers are great too. Someone said your dagger was too rusty. Rusting in ther gut maybe! Haters gonna hate, right? Trust those whiny adventurers to get all judgy on you – especially those paladins, they’re the worst. Wait, is there some rat-jousting on? Where? I’m hungry. Wait for meeee!
Mostly…A bit of Everything? You’re a Shapeshifter!
Being just one thing is so boring, you can’t imagine how everyone else manages it. You’re a master of disguise and deception, and you can slip from one form to another more quickly than anyone can pin you down. As a result, your reputation is pretty mixed, and that’s only from the people who know you’re a shapeshifter (anyone else who has technically ‘met’ you is probably already dead,let’s be honest).
Thank you for taking the quiz – I hope it gave you a bit of a laugh! Share what you got in the comments below, if you’d like – do you think it’s accurate?
Until next time, fellow monsters, don’t forget to check for adventurers!
I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided!