Hand over Foot – or vice versa? The Body Shop Almond Oil Hand Rescue Treatment

What’s up (in the rafters, waiting to strike), rogues?

As anyone who has traversed a shattered catacomb/carried groceries up a hill/danced en pointe etc etc knows, sometimes your feet need a little TLC. Hands, too, take a beating, whether you’re out in the elements, washing up a lot, or throttling the mad Goblin King.

Well, you’re in luck, lads and lasses, today I have for you another multitasking potion for your adventuring kit – The Body Shop’s Almond Oil Hand Rescue Treatment. As a quick note, it’s been renamed  ‘Almond hand and nail butter’, but it’s the same potion, really!

Here we have Hilarion, championing his favourite hand/foot cream. The man tromps around in metal shoes and swings weapons barehanded – if anyone knows about hand/foot treatments, he does.

I know what you’re thinking: ‘Syl, it’s a handcream. There’s no way it’s rich enough to be a foot balm without making you slip and break your neck when you apply it. That’s why they called it a *hand* cream. Really, I think that goblin king might have knocked your head harder than you thought’.

And it is indeed intended as a product for the hands – but I think the Body Shop is missing a great opportunity by not broadening the scope a bit and adding ‘foot’ somewhere to their marketing. I know they have other foot products, but as far as I can tell they’re all peppermint scented (which not everyone wants all the time), and why lug two products around when you can use one?

As you can see in the photo below, the texture is quite thick, but it’s creamy and melts quickly on the skin, lasts long enough for a good massage, and then skinks into the skin quickly enough that your rations don’t slip out of your grip at lunchtime. I particularly like it as a foot massage cream, actually. It has the added benefit that it won’t really irritate any broken skin you might have on your feet (blisters, eczema, cracks etc), unlike some of those peppermint products! Obviously, if you have serious cracking or damage on, say, your heels, it’s not designed to *fix* that, but it won’t burn either (always a plus).

Hilarion, already digging in. The texture is soft enough that you needn’t use edged weapons to get some out, but Hilarion’s got his own way of doing things, I guess.

The packaging is, well, functional. It’s a pot, what more can you say? But it does close well enough, and the cream never seems to dry out or separate. The product has a light almond-y, ointment base-y sort of smell, which is inoffensive on the hands and can’t be smelled all the way from the feet. (This is yet another advantage over the peppermint ones for the practical rogue – those peppermint scented footprints and fingerprints you’re leaving will have the minotaurs laughing all the way to dinnertime). The pot size is also portably small, and sturdy enough to survive most dungeoneering. The product can also be acquired in a couple of different sizes of tube, with a slightly less rich formula, if desired.

The current version/appearance of this multitasking moisturiser, taken from http://www.thebodyshop.co.uk

I find that the best time to apply this product as a foot balm is in the evening before bed/your first watch of the night. That way it has a good long time to soak in, and you can be a little heavier handed than you might be if you were just going to put on your boots and go. As a hand cream, you can apply it whenever, really, but may wish to be a bit more sparing if you only have a couple of seconds to spend on the process. This is one to be savoured.

The verdict: A worthy addition to any rogue’s backpack – perfect for the hands after a rooftop chase, or the feet after a quest that takes you all the way there and back again.

The practicalities: The Body Shop Almond Oil Hand Rescue Treatment (now the Almond Hand and Nail Butter) costs NZD 24.00/GBP 11.00/USD ? (the US website crashed when I opened it :-P) for 100 g/3.5 oz, is permanent, and may be acquired at your local Body Shop, or online at http://www.thebodyshop.com/ (or your country’s variant of this URL)

Until next time, fellow adventurers, don’t forget to check for traps!

Syl

I am an adventuring rogue, not a mercenary for hire, and as such, all opinions expressed here are my own, based on a genuine fondness for/interest in this product. If you have any queries or suggestions, please do not hesitate to pin your parchment to the board (contact me) at thepaintedrogue [at] gmail [dot] com., or use the contact form provided!